By now I should have learned to keep my big mouth shut and not take things for granted when they are going well. Everything is going downhill again with my parents. Honestly, this time around I don't have the energy to deal with it. Last Thursday night when I got the hysterical phone call from my sister (while I was preparing to go home from my long day at the paper) I couldn't even muster enough energy to cry or for that matter get angry. Sigh, isn't that horrible? My parents marriage is falling apart in front of me and I can't even get upset about it. Guess part of the reason is this whole drama has been going on for almost 3 years now and I just want to see some end to it. Whether it's for good or bad this needs to end so everyone can just go on with their lives. Actually, I take back something I said earlier. I do get angry, mostly at my mom. I always gave her more credit for being a stronger person than what she's been but lately I'm beginning to wonder. If it were me, I'd tell my dad to leave if he wants to leave, just don't expect to be taken back. Once you're gone, you're gone. That's why I think I'm so commitment phobic. I don't want to turn into my mother. Sigh. She's given over 30 years of her life to their marriage and this (I'm almost certain) is how it ends? God, I think of so many better things that could be done with 30 years. Of course, my sister and I (mainly me) are probably the best things that happend in those three decades...or so I'd like to think.

Then again, going to be alone at night does get a little old after awhile. Sometimes I think it would be nice to just have someone around every now and then. Of course, then I wake up from my drunken stupor and realize the ideal relationship would be one where I had some hottie on call for say my own personal enjoyment (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), no strings attached that I could just say, "O.k., you can go home now. I'll call you the next time I need you". Yeah right, like I could do that? I've seen Cinderella one too many times. I want the whole sweeping off your feet deal. Guess I'm S.O.L. on that one since most guys I know don't think like that.

Anyway, enough of my complaining. Everything else is going o.k. Work is, well, work. Still looking for a writing job. Preferably in the New England, specifically Boston, Mass., area if anyone has any leads for me. Getting more excited about the Caps game. Can't wait to hang out with everyone! Planning on avoiding the downtown area as it seems we are going to we over run with White Supremecists and Anti-Racism protesters this weekend. What a hot bed of controversy I live in (note the sarcasm in my voice, which you would hear if you were here with me right now).

All right, gotta go. My eyeballs hurt and I need some sleep. If anyone is around call me, we'll talk, it'll be now big whup.