It's funny to me how after all this time, I can still let stupid crap get me down. In the grand scheme of things what has been going on with Him and I really is not that important. What matters is me (not to sound conceited or selfish either).

Like I told Denise in her comments a day or two ago, it really is up to me to determine my happiness. Sure it's nice to be on the receiving end of endless compliments and such but really, like he actually meant what was said. I think not. We haven't seen or talked to each other since Friday night. Our schedules have been so different that I haven't had the chance to talk with him. Or see him. Maybe this week, I don't know.

One thing for sure, I'm channeling any emotional or physical frustration into my hockey. Whoo boy. Last night we played a team of total (pardon my French) bi-otches! Those girls were just dirty in the way they played. Every hit and penalty we got against them they deserved. I managed to reinjure my shoulder and if it doesn't stop hurting like it is I'm going to have to go see my new doctor. Two years ago I hyperextended it and every now and then it aches a little but usually nothing more than that. Last night when I checked a girl from the other team it made an audible pop. Not good. It's been giving me fits all day today, but I was still able to lift trays at the Lobster. We'll see how it feels in the AM.

And true to form, it wouldn't be the holiday season without some drama involving my family. Sigh. My dad is at it again. Today he left my mom a message on the answering machine that he was going away for a few days and she's been freaking out ever since. Those of you new to the site can check out the beginning of the whole drama back in the first few posts in the archives. I'm so freaking sick of this crap going on I can't stand it anymore. I just can't. I told my dad that in a very not so nice voicemail (he has his cell phone turned off, where ever he is).

BIG SIGH.

When it rains is pours, so to speak.