Dear Stupid Neighbor who lives behind me and always parks in the alley so I can't get into my garage.
When you first moved in it was o.k. I realized you needed more room to get all of your accumulated stuff into the house and yes, parking is limited in our neighborhood. So I overlooked you, your kids, your relatives and friends parking directly behind the garage I park in leaving me no space (which I found out AFTER I scraped a big white streak on the side of my car) to get in.
No biggie. Really. I'm willing to forgive that kind of thing in the spirit of new neighborlyness.
I didn't mind when you parked there during the ice/snow storm in February because really, I couldn't get my poor little Saturn down the alley anyway. I blame the wonderful city we live in for that in not doing anything to our streets for over a week let alone the alley that never did get ploughed or even salted. It's the price you pay for living in Pennsyltucky I guess.
But seriously, now that the weather is nice and you've been living there for almost six months, it's about time you start using the DAMN PARKING AREA that is big enough for FOUR CARS behind your own freaking house. For real. Last night you almost ended up with one SUV with a bright red streak on the side and four slashed tires because, again, I could not get into my garage and was forced to park on the street in front of my house. Yes, I am lucky to have space in front of my house but for the love of all things holy, when there is room for you to put you gas guzzling piece of crap SUV directly behind your house, USE IT.
The one neighbor you DO NOT want to mess with.