Saturday, May 07, 2011

In other words...

One of my favorite bloggers is the divine Miss Heather Hunter, aka Fish. I've been reading her blog for a long time and without sounding presumptuous I'd like to think that we'd make pretty good coffee getting, go for a run, take a trip to a museum buddies. As it is, she's planning a wedding right now, just like I am. Yesterday during some down time at work, I was able to get some reading in and saw this:

This marriage is hugely important to me; it’s no secret that my feelings about the wedding aren’t nearly so profound. What I do care about is what other people will think about how much I don’t care about wedding things. Disappointing people. It’s probably the biggest reason I didn’t want to do it. People judge things. They just do, even if it’s not conscious. And when it’s things that don’t matter – like what you do for favors or whether or not you went to the trouble of bedazzling your cocktail napkins – all I can do is throw my hands up and say, Eff it!

Couldn't have said it better myself. I'm excited for this next chapter of my life, with my best friend by my side but seriously, does it REALLY matter what is on the center of the table or if the favors are going to cause allergies and death (I was thinking bags of Cracker Jacks to go with the baseball theme, but with the peanuts...).

A majority of my stress revolves around the money. It's gotten to the point that I'm looking for a second job, again, just so I can pay for my fair share. Because as it is now, that's not happening. My parents are helping to pay a big chunk of the reception/wedding site fee and the amount of GUILT I feel about that is overwhelming. Times are tough for everyone, and I just feel so guilty knowing that as they both approach retirement age they are using a big portion of what they saved to help give me a nice wedding. I don't know, this guilt wasn't there with all of the money they forked over for my college education but now, well, it sits like a lead weight on my soul.

Especially since I can't seem to keep up and hold up my part of the bargain. This wedding is keeping me in a constant state of stress and sending me on a one way trip to the poorhouse.

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