Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Nothing right

This blog was started about a million and a half years ago when I was in my 20s, going through some rough times related to the decline of parent's marriage and mainly came about because I needed a place to vent. Not many people read it, and that was o.k. Like most bloggers I just needed a place to put the inside on the outside. I had a real, hand written journal but since I type faster than I write, there was more instant gratification.

Today I just want to put it all out there.

I had a CRAP day. No, lower than crap. I'm not sure what that is, but that's the kind of day I had. All day at work, it was one thing after another. Nasty customers. Supervisors on my case (o.k., just the one but that was enough). Barely any time for lunch or a chance to decompress on my breaks. Took Katie cat to the vet to get her nails clipped and wound up getting the flea and tick prevention we had talked about before (it was on sale, buy 6 get 2 free). So our bill was higher than it should have been. I hadn't planned on buying the stuff, but I figured while I was there, I would just go ahead and get it done. I should have talked to my husband before I did it, but since we had talked about it before I thought it was o.k.

Apparently it wasn't.

So there's that too. A little argument about me spending money at the vet was enough to get the tears going. Luckily I held them in until he left for rehearsal, but not by much. I hate it when I get so pent up like this. Before I would have eaten my emotions but tonight I just didn't have an appetite for the delicious meal Will made. Our argument sent me over the edge and I can't seem to come back. Not yet at least.

The take away from all of this, I guess, would be that crap days happen. And when they do, holding it in isn't good. And that it's not just I anymore. Now it's We. And it's been we for almost 4 years, not just the 5 months we've been married. That's the hardest lesson for me out of all of this. After 30 years of I, switching to We is still taking some getting used to.

1 comment:

fairy princess said...

Hi there - and thanks for sharing! What you first wrote about your initial idea about blogging is exactly how I felt when I started out a while ago! It IS nice to just be able to write exactly how you feel cos sometimes it can be hard to talk about it....
And yes....Crap days happen! One thing on top of the other, and its not easy if one bottles it all up! Believe me - I know! :-)
Sending you some sunshine from my part of the world...