Was suddenly reminded of Dan today. Jill and I were talking about first dates and I immediately thought about ours and how he ran into the parking meter as we were walking down the street. Made me laugh then immediately made me sad. Even if he did turn out to be a total bastard, at least Dan pretended to be interested in me. Can't even get that anymore. Yeah, I admit I put up walls. O.k., large concrete walls with barbed wire and guard dogs. Sigh. Problem is I don't know how to bring them down again. I wish I could stop being so jaded and cynical. I wish I could trust someone again. The events of the past year or two have kind of ruined that for me.

Sorry I tend to get this way the closer we get to Feb. 14. When you don't get valentines or even a call on the phone that day, it tends to make you a little bitter. Stupid holiday. Wake me up when the next real holiday starts, March 17.