Friday after I left work I had a very interesting end to my evening. I ended up meeting Bob, Leslie and her boyfriend Michael at Leslie's house. It was too cold to be outside (we're hitting single digits overnight) so they just started drinking at the house. I got there, hung out for a little, talked, drank a beer and had a good time. Bob was hungry so we made a stop at Denny's on the way home (don't ask). This is where it gets interesting, or more correctly enlightening. As we were finishing up and mocking the horrible service he sat back, looked at me and asked me if I had told Room Mate Marti and Colin that I hated it when Colin was there. I was stunned. Shocked. Dismayed even that they would think such a thing. First of all, yeah, I may not like it when he's there sometimes but I'm not the kind of person to come out and say that to his face. Second, I soooo do not recall those words escaping my lips. Then he went into this whole thing about how he and Marti had a conversation about me and how I wasn't acting like myself the last month. Hmm. Interesting. He also went into this big long monolog about how he will help me however he can be it monitarily or whatever and he hates to see me upset and not myself. We finally left Denny's around 3:30.

Right away I went on the defensive, like I always do. The more I thought about it the more what he was saying made sense. Sigh. I will admit, I have not felt like myself lately. Mostly I've been attributing it to the resignation at job #1 and stress around that. After our talk I decided I needed to talk to Room Mate Marti so we had a nice long civil conversation about her perception of me and what was going on. It was good, we cleared the air on a few things and I don't feel quite so stressed anymore. The whole thing showed me a few things, namely if something is bugging me I need to talk about it. Not hold it in. Not swallow it. Work it out. Talk to someone. Do something. I have a bad tendency of trying to avoid conflict so I swallow any anger issues (before my trying to lose weight it was in the form of Ben & Jerry's New York Superchunk). Sigh. Sometimes you don't see how far down you've gone until someone else holds that mirror up and makes you look in it.