Last night I slept in a room that I have not closed my eyes in for a long time. My old bedroom at my parents house.

My mother asked me yesterday afternoon to stay the night. She is having a tough time with this whole thing. Which is understandable. You spend 35 years of your life with someone you just don't up and end things easily. Heck, I had a hard time with seven months, 35 years is out of my realm of thinking. So I spent the night after I finished with my shift at the Lobster.

We talked about what comes next. How it's going to be a roller coaster ride of emotions for her. And my sister and I. How she's going to need to learn to live on her own. Something she has never done in her life. Married at 22, never went to college, didn't do the first apartment or anything like that on her own my mother hasn't had to fend for herself before now. I can see how that would be frightening. It's hard for me to understand though. I've been on my own (give or take) for the last 10 years (college, post college, first apartment, etc.) and I'm glad I have. It's taught me that no matter what happens, I can fend for myself. Sure I may need to ask for help but that's what my friends are for. I reminded her that she has a bevy of friends that will be there for her in a heart beat. She is still stuck on the idea that her life is wrapped up in him.

God help me if that ever happens. It's o.k. to be devoted to someone but I just can't imagine losing sight of myself in a relationship. It just isn't me. If that sounds selfish then so be it. My life is mine and thats really all there is to it.