Just another brick

When the Dan incident happened I put up a wall. I'm talking concret with brick overlay and barbed wire kind of wall. All the way around my heart. The Korean DMZ had nothing on me and the walls I put up. It was a painful experience. I thought I had found someone who genuinely liked me as much as I liked them.

I was wrong.

It took me a long time to bring that wall down. A little over a year and a half ago someone started the process. Not only did he offer me friendship, but he made me feel special. Wonderful. Beautiful. For reasons beyond my control, that ended. No, actually, it needed to end. For both of our sakes. That doesn't mean I don't think about him. Still. Randomly during my day his face will pop into my head and I'll wonder what he's doing or where he is.

It hurt to let go but it was necessary. I didn't even bother putting the wall up again. It's a permanent fixture by now. Even if it is only one of those little half jobbies. Probably why Him and I hit it off so well. It's easy to recognize another wall builder when you're so good at it yourself.

Oddly enough, I've noticed my wall is starting to come down. Little by little. I'm more willing to take chances not just with my heart but in life too. Somehow I can't help but feel like I'm turning a corner. For once in my life I feel like I can make the changes that need to be made, and be happy with the results.

For the first time in my life, I'm ready to bring in the wrecking ball.