Light a match, watch it go

As all six of you who read this blog know, the last few weeks have been, shall we say, a little on the rough side. What with the parents and frustration over not getting anywhere with the job search, I think my blood pressure has been up about 80 points give or take.

Last Friday was kind of the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. After my little meltdown I needed to take a step back. Examine just what the hell I'm doing. Talk things out. And the last person in the world I expected to talk to, is the one that has finally been able to break through and light a fire under my butt.

Who knew?

In email conversation he put it to me in just the words I needed to hear. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Rejection happens, but you've just got to keep plodding on. Other people have said the exact same thing, but this time, it finally clicked. I'm not sure if it was the messenger so much as it was I was finally listening.

I've watched some of my oldest and very best friends make moves in their lives that I just sat back in awe and said, I wish I had the cajones to do something like that. For example, best friend Leslie. About 5 years ago she left what could have been a very lucrative job in Washington, D.C., moved to Hoboken, N.J. with no job waiting and only the promise of a place to live. Two years ago she up and decided to go to law school. Just like that. Good friend Anne did almost the same thing. When we were fresh out of college she left her job at Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia for the Traveling Nurse Corps. She did a hell of a lot of traveling all over the U.S. before settling in for her PhD at U of Iowa. Then there's Brent. In just the past three years he's studied monkies in the Costa Rican and Kenyan rain forest as well as hyenas on the Kenyan plains, within clear sight of Mount Kilamanjaro.

My friends all lead such interesting lives.

So now I'm finally ready. Ready to move on. To let go of what was holding me back and get my life started. I know my friend will deny our conversation was that important, but it was. No one else was willing to be as straightforward and dare I say, harsh, about me and my wallowing. It's hard to hear the truth about yourself. Luckily, I still have someone who's willing to dish it out to me.

So, thanks to the match. Even long distance your spark was enough.