Saturday was homecoming day at my old high school. This year I was asked to help with the band so for the first time in 13 years I was there for the annual homecoming game.
I was too incoherent at 8:30 a.m. (after not hitting my pillow until 1:30 a.m that morning) to realize that it had been that long. As the large coffee I was sipping started to finally work it's magic it suddenly occured to me that I had been avoiding my alma mater.
High school was a different experience for me. On most levels I hated it. Sure, I was so involved in activities (field hockey, band, drama club, student council, SADD, debate, chorus, etc.) that I barely had time to think about how much I hated it, but I did. My grades were not very good, I still wonder how in the hell I got accepted to Camp Shippy. Boys, when they weren't busy making fun of me, generally ignored my existence. I didn't go to either of my proms. I only went to one homecoming dance in the 9th grade my friend Amber and I went stag. I decided that night I would never go stag again since spending the night guarding purses as everyone else slow danced wasn't exactly my idea of fun. If it wouldn't have been for my wonderful friends (who I still call my best friends) high school would have been living hell.
Saturday brought all of those old feelings back again. All of the insecurity, all of the pain and all of the feelings of teenage depression flooded over me.
It's crazy, I know. Now I'm a slightly more well adjusted adult (or so I'd like to think) who can appreciate a quiet night at home. That I don't need to have the attention of a boy or man to complete my life. And I must admit, the more I thought about it the more I was glad I'm at the stage in my life I am. My good memories of college have all but rubbed out the bad ones of high school.
Saturday I returned home from the game with a little bit of a sunburn and a feeling of profound peace. Life, to my surprise, really is good.
In a totally unrelated note, the rockin' boys and girl from Terminal Lunchbox have put some new demo's over at their site. Head on over and show some love.