Thursday, December 15, 2005

Why my room mate's stupid girfriend needs to change her name permanently to Stupid Girlfriend or Why I'll never drive long distances with my room mate's or their stupid girlfriends again

Last night I about had it to the top of my 4'11" head with room mate #2's stupid girlfriend.

Somewhere around September one of my hockey teammates found out the USA Women's Olympic Hockey Team was going to be playing Finland at the Sovereign Center this month. Seeing as 1) We all play hockey and therefore are fans of the game and 2) Duh, it's a chance to see the Olympic Hockey Team, we went together and got group seats. Right on center ice. Right behind the benches.

At the time of the original decision, I wasn't all that interested in going but the more we talked about it at practice the more I wanted to be there. Great hockey, good times and cheap beer. Can't think of a better way to spend a Wednesday night.

That and I succomb pretty easily to peer pressure.

So I asked the room mate's if they wanted to go too. Room mate #1 was all about it. Room mate #2 was in, he plays hockey too. Then came the subject of Room mate #2's stupid girlfriend. I wasn't even going to bother to ask her. But Room mate #2 went ahead and mentioned it to her then of course, because he wanted to go she did too. Yeah, she's one of those girls. You know the type, whatever he wants to do she does too, whether she likes it or not.

So we got four tickets. Originally the plan was to meet the rest of my team at our rink and drive the rest of the 45 minutes with the caravan (Sovereign Center's about an hour or so from the abode). It was a perfectly good plan with a minimal chance of us getting lost. Only there was one glitch. Room mate #2's stupid girlfriend. She is graduating from nursing school on Saturday (she's only 22, which explains some, but not all of her stupidity) and at the last minute decided to inform us there was practice for the pinning ceremony the same night as the game.


We spoke a little bit about it Tuesday night. My last words to her were "Get here as soon as you can after practice. We're not going to wait much past 5:45. If you're not here, I will not hesitate to leave without you."

I'm sure by now she thinks I'm a royal bitch but hey, at this stage in my life, I could give a rat's ass.

Stupid Girlfriend arrived at 5:40. Drunk. Reeking of vodka. And even more stupid than usual. It seems that her nursing school buddies decided it was a good idea to go to one of the local college bars, get shit-faced then go to their practice. And she was still drunk, two hours after the fact.

Once everyone was herded into the car and I fought traffic out to one of the major routes we were well on our way. Stupid Girlfriend occasionally chimed in to the conversation but was generally quiet for most of the trip.

The about half way there she said she was hot, so she put the window down. Then she closed her eyes. What came next? can see where I'm going with this, right? We also got a little lost as none of us had ever been to the Sovereign Center before. The roads in the town aren't exactly the greatest. PENDOT sucks. It's a well known fact in this state.

But that's not the worst of it. Oh no.

Just as we were pulling into the parking garage she puked. In my car. With the window open. I wanted to tie her to the bumper and drag her around while I was looking for a parking spot. Room mate #2 wasn't too happy with her either (they got into a big fight about it). Room mate #1 was, to say the least, none too pleased either. After some driving around I finally found a spot, she cleaned up as much as she could and we headed into the game.

The game itself was pretty damn good. USA won 5-3 but my night was marred to Stupid Girlfriend. You could still smell the alcohol on her well into the third period. She at least was sober by the time we left.

The ride home was realtively quiet. I fiddled with readio stations while everyone else either slept or commented here and there about the game.

As I was dropping everyone off at the house Stupid Girlfriend finally spoke up.

"What time do you get home from work?"

"Around 3, why?"

"I want to come over and clean your car. It's the least I can do."

"Yes. Yes it is."


George said...

Wow... that sucks. It is strange how only 8 years older and you are totally annoyed and don't want to put up with that shit, at all. I feel the same way. But somehow, I can imagine being 22 and thinking it was a cool story or something stupid like that. As bad as getting old might seem, it isn't that bad. At least you're not the "stupid girlfriend".

Anonymous said...

Room mate's #2 girl friend sh'dn't have gone especially since she was already drunk. You made a good decision in not wanting to drive to pick up someone like that. Its only right that she clean your car.

agategoddess said...

Thank you. She did finally finish scrubbing it down Saturday morning before I woke up. Good thing too.

And yes, isn't it strange how once you're out in the real world George, what used to be funny just isn't anymore? I'm pretty sure she's in for a rude awakening when she actually starts her first REAL job.