Friday, January 27, 2006

Bob and weave

One of the best parts about living with my former room mate was hearing some of her date stories after the fact. Definitely, one of my favorites was her "bob and weave" story.

She had dated this one guy on and off right after college. For whatever reason (new jobs, moving, etc.) they eventually split and went their seperate ways. By the time we were sharing a roof though they reconnected. The started dating again but by this time, after a few weeks of dinners and movies, she figured out why they didn't work out the first time. He just wasn't doing it for her. There was no Gershwin. After this realization she decided they were better off as friends but accepted an invitation for one more date type evening. Nothing fancy, just dinner and drinks.

After dinner (and this is the part that always had me laughing so hard I was usually in tears) they went for a walk in the downtown area where they were. Bear in mind they had already had the talk about just being friends. But I digress. During their walk the guy kept trying to put the moves on her but she wasn't having any of it. He'd go to put his arm around her and she'd stop to tie her shoe. He'd go in for a kiss, she'd suddenly stop to point out something down the street. He'd reach for her hand, she'd put her's in her purse to look for chapstick. It went on all night. Finally they parted ways again after he got the hint.

"I'm literally exhausted," she said that night after she came home. "I felt like a boxer...bob and weave, bob and weave!"

Being the secret girly girl I am, I was discussing this new, whatever you want to call it between Mr. M. and I with my friend Lyzz. Because that's what we do. We overthink and overanalyze. Must be something in the genetics of women.

"I just don't know. I keep feeling like he's holding something back. I know I'm holding back. It's almost like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?"

"Well stop it! Just go with it. You need to stop thinking like that."

"Yeah, I know."

Another male friend of mine essentially said the same thing in an email conversation earlier this week. For some reason he has been the go to guy when it comes to the male side of the coin on all things relationship related. I'm not sure why but on some level I tend to listen to him more when it comes to this kind of thing. He tends to be my kick in the rear when needed. My wake up call, if you will.

Just enjoy it while you can, he wrote. You never know what tomorrow's going to bring so just take it and run. If you're giving it your all then you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Sigh. Damn him for speaking the truth...but that's why I keep him around.

It occured to me as I was reading those words that I had been bobbing and weaving with Mr. M. during the last couple of weeks. I don't mean to but by this stage of the game, it's habit. Old hat. You see, the more I keep moving the less I have to think about what will happen when this thing plays out to it's conclusion, whatever that may be. If I keep my self in motion my mind and my heart won't have time to connect.

You want to come over and hang out? Ok but you need to leave by 6.

Get together this weekend? I have hockey and you really don't want to be around me after that. You do? But I'll need to come home, take a shower, blah, blah, blah, excuse, excuse.

To be honest, all this bobbing and weaving is exhausting me. Why can't this whole dating thing be easier? Then again, maybe if I'd stop moving, it would be.


That 30's Guy said...

You are sounding an awful lot like me. "Waiting for the other shoe to drop" can ultimately lead towards that happening.

Anonymous said...

Yes it could be a self fullfilling prophecy. Just enjoy him and be happy that you met someone you like to actually hang out with. It's hard enough meeting people, why not enjoy every minute of it. It it fails, at least you had a good time not worrying about it. If it works out, then that was more time you got to enjoy with him.

Relax and let it go... Enjoy what life brings you...