Monday, June 19, 2006

Flumoxed

If I hadn't read it myself I would'nt have believed it.

But there, right in front of my face was the email. Friday night, after I got home from work, there it was waiting for me. He found me again. And reminded me what we had before. How well we went together. Like I was the peanut butter to his jelly. How he didn't realize until he'd been gone how much he wanted to be with me again.

That I really was worth the long distance.

My brain just about shut down. Why? Why now? Why when I'm in the process of getting something new started with someone else would he send me this (and a few others to go along with the phone calls)?

I started flashing back to those three months. Underneath it all we really weren't heading for any kind of serious togetherness. Just something to keep each other warm on cold nights and share in our mutual loneliness. When it played itself out, I was more upset over the posibility of losing a friend than anything else. O.k., so I hated the idea of letting go the only man I've met so far who could keep up with me in bed...sue me.

And now, after he's been gone almost a year and a half, he's trying to jump right back in again.

Why?

1 comment:

mr. helpful said...

er...because he's a guy and that's what a guy does?

not that i EVER did that. nope. nuh huh...

heh heh heh