Monday, July 09, 2007

Just one of many

I'm the first to admit, I have flaws. I'm impatient. I'm probably way more competative than any girl should be (see me on the ice sometime, all it takes is one bad move and wham, I'll put you into the boards). I tend to procrastinate. And the one that always gets me in trouble...I have a bad habit of putting others way before myself.

Now, that last one may not seem so bad but as J was saying to me Friday night, sometimes you need to put yourself first. This need to please all of the time usually gets me overbooked, then stressed out because I want to do a good job but don't feel like I'm giving 100%.

I told TBD that very thing this evening.

This coming band season is going to be hectic as I'm working with not one, but two guards(bandfront). The one guard is the same one I worked with during indoor season so I'm familiar with the program, I'm just taking more of a leadership role this season and I'm so afraid I'm not going to be able to keep this high achieving group as good as they are. That I'm not good enough to take the reigns from M.

Groundless fears, but still...it all goes back to that whole not good enough thing again.

Only time will tell I guess and until then, it's not worth getting worried about.

I have more important things in my life to concentrate on, my health, my job and opening up my heart again.

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