Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Yeah, I'm in a bad mood. Want to make something of it?

For some reason I've been in a bad way the last couple of day. It isn't PMS, as TOM ended Sunday night. And really, work has been pretty slow...which considering what I do is a good thing. I'm not sure why but for the last two days I've felt like punching the first person who even looks at me wrong.


I guess part of it is I miss Will horribly. Camp is over in about 4 weeks and we'll go back to seeing each other like we did before he left at the beginning of June. I've driven the hour and a half south to visit twice and had a wonderful time. I think it's incredibly cool that he works there and I know I'd love to spend my summers swimming, canoeing or hiking around. His summer job is something he truly loves. I would never ever ask him to stop working there. He's been working at camp a long time and it makes him happy. It's just harder than I thought it would be. Heck, I thought by now I'd be cruising along just fine but all I can think about is him coming back here soon. And that is completely throwing me for a loop. I've never been like this...this girl who is so tied to someone else. Guh. I'm no sure but I think somewhere along the way all of my walls came down and that does scares the jeebers out of me. He's been so wonderful too, calling at least twice a day or texting me out of the blue, even though I know he's so busy, just to let me know he's thinking about me. What I did to deserve this guy I have no idea.

Today I got back from another housesitting job which threw me all off my schedule and made me sleep deprived (you try sharing a bed with a needy 6 year old black lab). So there's that. And I also made the mistake of stepping on the scale at the house. Sweet. Baby. Moses. I have no idea where I lost the motivation or when my semi-good eating habits went down the crapper, but this girl has some serious work to do on herself. All I have to do is look at my mother (currently on medication for high blood pressure and diabetes) to see what will happen if I don't start watching myself and what is going into my body. I think my poor eating habits have a role in my foul mood too.

Oh, and band season is starting in a few weeks. The pressure is building for that especially since my band director insists that the complete show should be finished. Now. Today. Little does he realize it just doesn't happen that way. I can't snap my fingers and say here you go, one award winning, trophy bringing home, super spectacular guard show that any DCI caliber guard could execute. Not so much.

So, there's a lot bearing down right now. Will's camp season will end faster than I think it will and we do have our random outings to Baltimore or his trips back here to hold me over. We'll, o.k. I'LL, get through it. The food thing, well, I just need to get myself back on track and focus my stress to something other than food. And do the yoga more often. I heart the yoga. Except when my hip locks up...

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