Monday, September 08, 2008

In flux...and too damn busy to even relax

First let me apologize to the three people who may stop by here every now and then. This poor blog has been sorely neglected and for that, I am sorry. Life is moving at light speed right now and I barely have time to stop and sleep for more than six hours let alone sit down and attempt to write out a blog post.

As it is, I'm at home finishing dinner for Will and I before we jet off to band practice. It's almost like there aren't enough hours in the day to do what needs to be done, let alone what SHOULD be done. Something is going to give soon and as much as I hate to say it, the loser will probably be band. And the stadium. I just don't have it in me to do either anymore. And that makes me sad, because I love guard and teaching but instead of teaching I'm spending most of my time fighting with overzealous band parents or a director that has no clue about how guard is taught or needs to be taught. Last week, and it may have been the PMS talking too, I broke down while Will and I were getting settled in to bed because I was just SO. FRUSTRATED. Will knows I put a lot of pressure on myself to make this season go well but at the rate I'm going, I'll have a nervous break-down in a few weeks. Sigh. I don't want to give up something I love, but when doing somethng I love becomes a chore, isn't it time to take a step back? I don't know.

We've been talking about moving in together next year. I know, I know, we've only been seeing each other for a short time but in all seriousness, it feels right. And as bad as this sounds, if Will gets a job away from here, that will be my out for guard. Wow. That's really bad, huh?

Something has to happen soon, I don't know if I'll survive the next two months if it doesn't.

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