Thursday, August 11, 2005


Because I try to learn something new everyday, here is what I learned yesterday:

1. Children under the age of 15 should not be allowed at a golf driving range.
2. My delicate hands can not handle an hour long session of nailing golf balls without a glove.
3. Golf is like sex.
4. Watching a show called Ghost Chasers right before bedtime is NOT a good idea.
5. All of those trips to the gym are finally starting to pay off.

So now I have yet another reason to hate golf. In attempt to be a good sport about the impending weekend of torture, I thought I'd go to one of the local golf courses and hit some balls at the driving range. No biggie, right? An hour, tops and I'd be home to watch a little telly before bed.

Yeah, right.

Let's start with the blisters. Nobody told me a glove was absolutely necessary to play this stupid sport! Because I didn't have anything covering my hand I now have four very painful blisters on my left hand. Grrr. Today a stop at Wal-Mart (I sure as hell am not going to pay mucho dinero for a golf glove) is on the list of things to do.

You're probably wondering why Golf is like sex, right? Work with me here. As I was trying to get the idea of how to hit a ball more than 20 feet, I began to notice something. The more times you nailed it, the better you got. Hence, just like sex. The more times you do it, the better you get. Yes folks, that's just one scary look into how my mind works.

Lastly, I found out yesterday that the banquet I'll be attending next Friday night is more of a shin-dig than I thought. A stop at Old Navy was in order. I did my usual routine: 1. walk through to see what's there; 2. walk through to pick up any possibilities; 3. head to dressing room to try on possibilities; 4. Cry when see self in mirror with harsh overhead flourescent lights; 5. Pick out at least two things to keep; 6. Do one more walk through to make sure nothing interesting was missed. Yesterday though, something wonderful happened, or didn't happen I should say. #4. In fact I was ecstatic when I tried on my first outfit. It was too big. Hallelujiah, Saints be praised. It was just what I needed to keep me motivated in my gym visits.

Go me!

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