Monday, January 01, 2007

New beginnings and things that should end

Originally New Years Eve was going to be spent in the company of my single compatriots going from bar to bar, having a good time and generally making ourselves feel good about the fact that on yet another New Years Eve, we were all still single. But since the plans were never firmed up I was left dangling in regards to how I was going to ring in 2007.

Not that it matters much. New Years Eve doesn't hold quite the same excitement for me as it did when I was younger. There were a few different offers on the table, M had invited me to one of his swinging shin-digs that I had heard so much about. Chad and Jen were having their usual night of revelry. Room mate #1 was finally going to have a New Years Eve off and had decided to join some of his co-workers at one of our favorite hole-in-the wall bars not too far from the homestead. Up until Thursday night I really wasn't sure where or how I would be ringing in the new year.

Then I happened to notice Borat was playing at our local cheapy movie theater (really, movies for $2, you can't go wrong no matter how crappy the theater is). I text messaged Friend J.

Borat's at the $2 theater. When are we going?

Let's go Sunday. I'm off and we can start our celebration early.

All right, it's on. Woo-hoo!

And that's how my New Year's celebration began, with an afternoon of errand running followed by a matinee showing of Borat. I freaking laughed my tuckus off. I know I'm a little behind the times on that but hey, better late than never, right? When we got out of the movie theater, I had two text messages waiting for me. From TBD.

Are you in York? Come meet me at Damons.

Leaving Damons, come up to the apartment.

I was a little shocked to have messages from him. First of all, he was supposed to be in Philadelphia for New Years. Secondly, we had just had a back and forth argument Friday night about what was going on between the two of us when I had refused to go over to his place that night. And finally, I wasn't all that sure I wanted to see him. I knew why he wanted me to go to his apartment...and really, it wasn't just to get together to watch the Eagles.

Against my better judgement, after Friend J dropped me off at my house, I got in my car and went to TBD's. He called while I was en route and I tried to talk myself out of it with him, but wasn't very successful. By the time I walked through his door and up the steps to his apartment, I knew I shouldn't be there. Me going there was just dragging the whole thing out. I almost think it crossed my mind that I could convince him, face to face, that we need to stop the messing around part and just be friends.

I sat on the couch ready to bring things to an end.

Then he leaned over, kissed me...and that was the end of my resolve. We fooled around on his couch for about an hour then I gathered my belongings, told him to have a good night and made my way back home. Sigh. I should have put my foot down right there and brought the whole thing to an end. But I didn't. Because it's hard to tell someone no when just one carefully placed kiss on the neck sends all thoughts flying out of your head.

I made it back home in plenty of time to get ready to go out. Friend J and I had decided to go downtown to one of our favorite bars for drinks and general revlery. Some of his brother's friends were supposed to be there too. He met me at my house and if he noticed I was a little more flushed than usual, he didn't say anything. I had actually made an effort to look like a human being again and he probably thought my high color was part of that. If he only knew.

We got to the bar and took our usual position at a table in view of the big screens
and the staircases. Part of the fun of this particular bar is watching people stumble up and down the steps the drunker they get. We passed the time before Midnight talking, flirting, making fun of the idiots with their stupid noisemakers and just generally enjoying each other's company.

Before we knew it the countdown began...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR! We yelled at each other and anyone else within earshot. Then we hugged, and shared a little peck on
the lips.

In the back of my head, I was slightly stunned. Actually it was more like a loud WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED THERE?!

The night closed out shortly after 1:30 a.m. I had plans to have the traditional New Year's Day lunch at my mother's and he had to return to work tonight, so we made our way through the rain back to the car and headed for home. Once he made sure I was in and safe, we parted ways at my front door with a hug and a promise to get together again soon.

I'm not sure how I feel about all of this. The situation with TBD needs to be brought to an end, and soon. It's not healthy for either of us to keep messing around here and there. And this thing with Friend J is just, well, confusing. He's a good friend. I enjoy spending time with him, but I'm not sure I'm ready to make it more than that. If at all.

2007 is off and running...and not necessarily in a good way.

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