Friday, February 09, 2007

Dark and cold do not do well for a sunny disposition

Lately I've been feeling despondent. I'm not sure if that's the right word I want to use but it's the first one that popped into my head, so I'm going to run with it.

Normally I love winter. Rosy cheeks and hot drinks. Skiing (when there's snow) and sledding. Taking walks. All of it is a source of enjoyment for me. But lately, not so much. Over the last couple of weeks I've been feeling a little restless and even, dare I say, depressed. It isn't over one thing but more like a laundry list of little things that have been building over the last couple of days and maybe the last week. This morning I was so upset over the fact that Room mate #1 wrote "Late" behind my rent payment (I was a day late in getting it to him) that I cried all the way to work.

Starting your day off with bloodshot teary eyes isn't the best way to go.

I've never been treated for depression. Never had any of the so called "happy pills". But lately I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I should look into seeing my EAP again at work. This cloud is not lifting anytime soon and the recent information from my mother that there is a history of depression in the family has the wheels turning. I don't like feeling this way because it isn't me. It just isn't.

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