Avoidance

Today as we walked through Target I couldn't bring myself to look at at the baby section. As we walked by four aisles of baby necessities, I turned my head toward the books and movies. I just couldn't do it. Seeing all of that stuff was just a reminder of what had been lost just two weeks ago. And I couldn't handle it, so to keep from losing it, I avoided those aisles and quickly moved toward electronics.

It will get easier, right? I won't always avoid anything baby and hide pregnant friends from my Facebook feed, right?

I hope so.

Speaking of things I'm avoiding, tonight is my 20 year high school reunions. I had, and still have, some great friends from high school. Many of the people I still keep in touch with, but I still can't let go of how I was treated by others in my class. I'm pretty sure if I had gone tonight I would have gotten drunk and told a few people off. After all of these years you'd think I would have let it go, but I haven't. If some of the things that I went through then were done now it would be called bullying. But then it was all just considered part of growing up. I do consider myself a stronger more tough version of myself circa 1993. There's something about being around some of those people though that makes me revert back to that time and hope that I can just walk down the hall unnoticed.

Yeah, I'm better off at home tonight watching "Big Bang Theory" and hanging out with my cats. They're better company than some of the people who will be at the reunion tonight anyway.