Saturday, October 12, 2013

Plot twist!

There was a meme going around on Facebook a few months ago about when something unexpected in life happens, just yell "Plot Twist!" and go on with life. The plot twisting around here the last two weeks can stop anytime now because frankly, I'm over it.

Let's start with the fact that we bought a house. It's a three bedroom, single floor townhouse about 20 minutes east of where we were living. We've been in the house for two months now and are almost settled in. Almost. There are still bins in the extra bedrooms I'm not quite sure what to do with and we have already replaced the refrigerator and dish washer, but otherwise we're settling in to being homeowners o.k. We still have some work to do like painting and redoing the master bedroom (I don't even want to get in to the questionable decorating choices of the previous owner).

Right before we moved I broke my foot. Let's just say a game of tennis got a little too competitive and I wound up in a walking boot for two weeks. Definitely made life interesting with the move and then a wedding we went to right after. But that is all healed and I'm trying to get back to wearing heels and playing tennis again. Not necessarily at the same time.

The last week has probably been the worst part of this whole "Plot Twist".

I had a miscarriage.

There, I said it. I was pregnant and now I'm not. I found out about the pregnancy the day before we moved in August. I was happy, scared and not quite sure how to handle it. Will I think was terrified. We had been trying, so it wasn't too much of a shock, but still, it was a shock! The next weeks after I was tired a lot, Got nauseous when I didn't eat on a schedule and Tried to eat more healthy. As far as I knew, everything was going great. I had an ultrasound scheduled for Oct 3rd where we would hear the heart beat for the first time and get a better idea of a due date.

Apparently my body had other ideas.

Two Saturdays ago I started spotting. I wasn't concerned at first because my OB said that was normal in the first trimester. Then Monday morning I woke up and the spotting was red. And there was a clot. I called off work and went in to my doctor as soon as they could fit me in. She did blood work and told me after the exam I was still physically where I should be. If the bleeding worsened or I had cramps I was to go to the ER. Things didn't get bad until the day of my original appointment. My OB did an ultrasound in office but wasn't happy with it so she sent me for a more extensive one at an imaging place. By this time I had started cramping. In my head, I knew what was going on.

We were losing the pregnancy.

And that was what my OB confirmed when she called me that night.

I was devastated. I'm not getting any younger (hello 38, I see you peaking around the corner). And I was just getting used to the idea that we were going to be parents. And then life had other plans. I'm almost done with the process of my body cleaning itself out, so I won't need to have a D&C. I'm just very emotional. And angry. And frustrated. And sad when I see friends who are pregnant or just had a child. We'll try again, but I know the clock is ticking.

On the same day the miscarriage was confirmed, I found out my godfather, Uncle Barry, had died. He had either a stroke or massive heart attack and passed away almost instantly. He was a big part of my life. My dad's best friend. I have so many good memories of Christmas parties and birthdays, get togethers at his house. We said good bye to him at a very nice service last Tuesday. If there is any comfort in losing him, it's that he is now reunited with his wife, Aunt Julie who died 13 years ago from cancer.

And as the saying goes, bad things happen in threes. My grandma Verna, at the age of 91, went to heaven on Thursday. She had been declining in health and when she was moved to a nursing home that, at least from what my mom told me, brought her life to an end. I'm sad because she was a great
lady who had a goofy sense of humor and loved her family. Her dementia and eventual Alzheimer's stole her memories and knowing her family. So in the end, she's at least whole again. I will miss her so, so much. We are holding a service on Tuesday to say good bye. I'm choosing to share the good memories, which I hope is how people will remember her.

So yeah, it's been quite a few months of up and down. There has been so much down though, we can only go up. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

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